Monthly Archives: April 2019

The lost art of conversation

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I bumped into one of my neighbours this morning and we discovered something about each other that we didn’t know… we are both passionate about self care, particularly meditation and mindfulness.

Dark skies but a lovely walk!

As we talked she was telling me how she enjoyed our conversation a lot and we pondered how conversation is becoming a little bit of a lost art. Conversation, at least, where we explore and discover shared interests and something new. I wondered, as I finished the walk with the dog, what the impact of our move into the online world was. The online world lends itself beautifully to the sound bite. Conversations are linear and come to a logical conclusion. It’s harder to take things in a different direction as we did. We started on the weather (as most conversations do) and ended up talking about friendship, photography, art, music, property developing, meditation, mindfulness, walking, holidays…. the list went on. Such a conversation would be unlikely to develop in that way online. Don’t get me wrong, I love online. I think it’s a great medium. Accessible, instant. But it lacks the flow of a real life conversation.

Part of the problem may be that we are all very busy. It needed a Sunday morning, a chance meeting, and the fact we were in a field away from distractions for this conversation to take place. It just takes someone to start. Then we join in. When I teach communication skills I’m always saying that as human animals we are instinctive communicators. We can’t help ourselves. But, as ever, it is the quality of the conversation that is important. It takes being in the moment without those distractions.

We agreed that because of our conversation our day would be changed. We felt invigorated and motivated through this chance contact. The desire to connect is part of the human condition.

So I want to challenge you to have more conversations. It is such connections that develop us. Enhance us. Take the time. Create the space. Be mindful. Be in the moment. Let it flow.

Let’s talk!

Sort out your morning first!

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The establishing of a morning routine is vital to starting the day on the right foot (that’s the ‘correct’ foot not necessarily the ‘right’ one – you could start on the left one if you want!). Your first ‘steps’ into the day are crucial to how your day goes. Some advocates of this suggest creating a 30-60 minute routine to benefit yourself and start you off on the day right. (Although 30 to 60 minutes feel like a bit of an ask for most of us). This comes as no great surprise to me, but it is nice to have what you know affirmed. You want something that will physically and mentally prepare you for the day. Ideally it should involve a period of mindfulness or reflection. Visualising the day ahead had been shown to help.

It’s the start that stops most people

Thinking about our day, visualising what you want it to look like and what your objective is, has been shown to have a significant impact in how it actually turns out. Neuroscience has plenty of research to tell us it is so.

My morning routine has changed since we got a dog because she won’t wait for her walk until I’ve sorted myself out!! So my mindfulness and visualisation takes place while I’m in motion!

Morning Meditation

But it used to look something like this….. On waking I’d start with some deep breathing – this is before I’ve even got out of bed. Next, I’d press play on the music that is the backdrop to my yoga stretching the Om Mani Padme Hum (Ven. Dharma Nauka). I do sun salutation, downward and upward dog, pigeon pose (which I completely struggle with!), cat and cow pose and some additional stretches for good measure ….and it usually takes me the time of the full mantra to do this. I then sit on the floor for more deep breathing and some meditation – just for a few minutes. I still do this as often as I can… but now after the dog walk! She sometimes joins in and shows me how to do both downward and upward dog… and she’s much better at it than I am.

Hydrate!

Next – water. Then – coffee and settle down to read for quarter of an hour or so – something that’s currently intriguing me about the human condition ….and then I’m done ….and all ready for breakfast!

The reality is, for me anyway, is that I still fit all of these things in at various points but it has to be flexible. With a little planning I generally don’t have to miss too much.

And what are the benefits? For me (at my age!) I feel physically ready for the day. I feel aches and stiffness when I wake up – but if I get my stretching in early I feel none of it for the rest of the day. But more than this I feel energised and ready to face the day in a state of calm. It certainly benefits me as if I miss too much of this out I’m convinced I don’t have as good a day. If I do these things, including the dog walk, I feel I’ve activated my body, activated my mind, and started my day by achieving a great deal. And that’s before I start on the other things that are waiting for me.

Start your day well and your day will go well – I’m convinced of it!

Running… my best friend!

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Ask me why I run and I’ll tell you “Because I have to!”

I’ve ran since I was about 17 when I decided as a slightly curvy teenager that I needed to do something. And I’ve ran all of my life. It’s a bit of an addiction I guess. But, a good addiction. Does it sometimes hurt? – Yes. Does it sometimes leave my muscles sore and aching? – Yes. Does it always make me feel great? – Yes! (Mostly!) It gives me a great sense of achievement and a huge well-being boost. When I get in from work feeling sluggish, or wake up on a morning feeling less than refreshed, or I need to get out and have some fresh air, a run always pays me back for the effort of putting my trainers on and going out. It’s a stress buster, burning off the cortisol that’s flooding your body after a stressful day at the office!

Show me your war face!

There is plenty of evidence that running as some great health and life benefits. Runners World tells us that running makes you happier, benefits your joints and bones, keeps you mentally alert, adds years to your life, and can even reduce the risk of cancer. It also says that it gets you fitter…. Well, er, yes… I’d imagine it would.

I can’t vouch for all of these things but I can say that after a run I feel psychologically more positive and more alert. I know that I’m fitter and healthier as a consequence, and that, with the right stretching after I feel stronger and more ‘in control’ of myself physically when demands are made on my body. And there also seems to be evidence that exercise in general helps you look younger…. Now I can definitely vouch for that!

https://www.parkrun.org.uk/

I make sure I get at least a weekly fix by going to my local Parkrun. Have you heard of Parkrun? It’s a world wide phenomena! Check out the Parkrun website to find one near you. Register and print yourself a bar code and you’re off and running …literally! Parkrun is a 5k (3.1 mile) run that starts at 9 a.m. every Saturday. It’s a great distance as it’s achievable but testing for most (don’t embark on it unless you’ve checked with your doctor if you’ve not exercised for a while or have a health condition yaddah yaddah yaddah… I’m going to assume you’ll be sensible… if it’s hurting stop… well… until you get to the point where you want it to hurt!). Also, the fact that you’re running with other people is a huge boost. My advice… start at the back and you’ll soon settle into the field where you feel comfortable. And, if you want to walk a little, then walk – you won’t be on your own – so that’s cool. Everyone doing their own thing. It’s not a competition. It’s very friendly and supportive. And there’s always a tail walker so even if you’re at the back you won’t be lonely. You’ll get your bar code scanned at the end. Don’t run without one. And then you’ll get your time sent to your phone or email! Brilliant! Do it every week and see how quickly you come on!

So get running! Look young, feel great, stay sharp! Get your running shoes on and get out there!